Dear Ex-Lover

 Dear ex-Lover,

 

You could never understand the fear of having a good thing if you don’t know what it is like to lose everything. If anything, I told him to keep the lights off. It is easier to forget regrets name when he is difficult to see.  He did nothing right. His hands were cold like the barrel of a gun before the shot is fired. I told him to keep the lights off. He didn’t know the road map. He skipped the scenic route. There was nothing good about this love. I didn’t mean to pull the trigger.

Your new love, she is pretty. She is the sound of waves on a first date. I wonder if you ever talk about us, about me. If the words you use still hurt the roof of your mouth when you speak them. I found her shopping for groceries one day; I followed her to see what it was about her that you liked. To see if she was better than me. She roamed each isle like I do. When she picked up items I wonder if she too imagined the feast she could put together for you. Yet unlike me she put the items in her cart. She was so confident in what she wanted, I was always scared from even the smallest commitment.  

I chatted with a man who resembled you last night. He was wearing your favorite shirt. I don’t remember the name he gave me. All I committed to memory was how just like you, his eyes disappeared when he laughed or the favorite shirt you’d let me wear after long nights like these. Nights where we chased the morning sun home. Although he resembled you in the dim lights blinded by the Whiskey, he couldn’t pull off your steeze.

419 days is a long enough time to let pass by. Too many stories have been read to convince me that not all fairy tales begin and end the same way. We can be our own fairy tale. Can we be our own fairy tale? I have seen the other side and the grass isn’t greener. I have crawled into the bottom of loneliness; I have battled its demons. I know it’s cliché but if it comes back then it is yours. I am yours.  I am a Porterhouse steak, I just needed to age. 419 days is a long enough time to let pass by, my Love.  

I am currently taking a creative writing class, this was my attempt at prose poetry.

This song somewhat helped with the theme of the piece.