Day 02

Feb. 15, 2012

Day 02- A picture of you with 15 facts

1. I have curly hair.
2. I like my coffee with brown sugar.
3. I listen to Hip Hop.
4. I don't like cats.
   
5. I'm stingy with my music.
6. I rather enjoy a movie on a couch than in the theaters.
7. I still use the same e-mail address from the 7th grade.
8. I don't like stupid people.
9. I laugh when I'm in trouble.
10. If you can't prove it, I won't admit it.
11. I can run my mouth.
12. I don't make friends easily.
13. I can't draw.
14. I roll my eyes when I hear bullshit.
15. Passion inspires me.

I was going to wait until my 30 days were over to start posting but I thought to myself- 30 days of picture taking and writing then another 30 days to blog them seemed too long for me. So I decided to start uploading them, at least two a day until I catch up.

enjoy.

Day 01.

30 Day Challenge.

Feb. 14, 2012

30 day was a challenge I took upon myself.

To appreciate all the lovely things I already have in my life.

If you read my 30 Day Challenge entry, I portrayed it as if my life sucked. -__-

I LOVE my life.

The challenge which I will share in a bit had me realize all the great things I already have going in my life.and I didn't realize (how much I appreciated life) until I started this challenge.

The challenge (among other things) I chose to do was a picture of something (e.g. someone you miss, a pic. of something old... etc.). I also had to describe the photo.

Day 01- A photo of someone you miss

Day one was actually suppose to start out with a photo of myself with 15 facts but since I started this on 2/14 I thought this was more appropriate.

This photo isn't a photo of my grandma but it's a picture of where she's at.

Six feet (+/-) down there she's there, in a beautiful baron style dress holding letters my brothers, sister and I gave her before they closed her casket.

Next to her is a purse with a photo album of photos with all of us in them for when she wants to reminisce.

I'm tired of missing her.

Ok, I'm not tired of missing her

I'm tired of reopening this casket.

This casket of wounds, emotions, questions, feelings, wants, regrets

I want to finally put her on that mantle with everyone else I've lost.

To finally let her rest and enjoy her after life.

V Day

One year ago I wrote this, I think on melo
But for some reason melo isn't loading for me...

Feb. 14, 2011
Happy Valentines day to you. For me, maybe V day but not happy. We rushed grandma to the hospital this morning. And I’m scared. Real scared. I lost her at one point. Right after we brought her in, they told me. She stopped breathing on me that they had to sedate her to intubate her. It took me about eight hours later since I last saw her to find the courage to see her again. I was terrified. My grandma was always strength to me. Always made it though everything and anything. But to see her in that state; tube down her throat, the sound of the machine, her tongue sticking out like a pig, sedated. I felt like I’ve lost her. Or I lost that image of her being superwoman. The doctors gave me 30 days.

Feb. 14, 2012
One year ago ... I lost you for awhile.
If it wasn’t for technology, I would of lost you then.
V day will never be the same.
While he gets the chocolates and flowers, I lay in bed too scared to get up.
Thinking I'd hear you call my name the moment I opened my bedroom door.
Like one year ago.

So I went to give you a visit.
To tell you I miss you

Hoping you'd hear me better if I were closer to you.

Some things in life you want to do just so you can say you've done them.

Clubhouses

We've probably made hundreds.
Ok, maybe not hundreds, but back then we sure made a lot of em.
In an area of family history, the yards our grandparents worked hard for, the same yards our parents ran around in, now the yards we dominated with our innocent souls.

I used to tell my classmates they didn't have it like we did.
We were the bangkad kids. We were the shit.

We made clubhouses out of anything we could get our hands on.
Trees, wood, scraps of tin, blankets, old tarp.
We'd make make-shift tools, stealing nails from our grandpa's tool box.

We had them in so many different places.
Once we had it under these stairs that we had to crawl to get into it and it was only high enough for us to lay in.
Another in an old taxi car.
Really.

Jun always made it a point to do a rain check, I hated those damn rain checks.
Here's why;
Jun's idea of a rain check was taking the hose and literally spraying water on the roof of those club houses.
Sometimes water would pour like crazy into the clubhouses soaking up everything.
That would usually end the building of a club house that day and we were off to the next thing.

During those year's my grandpa was around, building the apartments. Some times I would sit in a corner while he worked just watching him. So I hated Jun's rain checks because I would get really into trying to make a decent clubhouse and his f*ing rain checks would just throw me off.

We had many clubhouses, cause on most occasions after we left our clubhouse that evening, by the next day our grandparents would of taken them down.

I remember we made a clubhouse or more of a meeting spot under the stairs of the apartments by my place.
We had lemon grass growing by the side of the apartment and we grabbed some and smashed them up, mixed with water and wiped it around this hollow area under the stairs so it would smell nice, seriously.

or one time we made one in the jungle and we would bring food to give to the duendee's so they wouldn't bother us or get us sick.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to those times. When are main concern was to have as much fun as we can before our grandparents called us home for the night.

Back then there wasn't a care in the world. Everything was so simple back then. There was no thinking about our options, no worrying about the consequences, just going with the flow. Just our young imaginations trying to make the most out of what we had around us.

Let's recap

I was such a horrible writer.
Just horrible.
Haha.
I took time to take a look back at the things I've written online.
From YEARS ago.
I'm laughing at this moment just thinking about it.
It's entertaining NOW, looking back at it
But I feel if I were to read my entries from years ago at the same time I wrote it, I wouldn't think it was that entertaining.
Especially if I were looking at it from another person
I realized a couple things;
I was a HORRIBLE speller
I was over dramatic
I was an attention seeker
I had a somewhat relationship with my father
I was angry
I was lame
I sounded irritating, like on most occasion I take time to put out an entry, blog whatever you wanna call it.
I write, proof read, edit, rewrite
Until it sounds good to me.
There's a theme behind my entries, most time.
My entries mean something.
Back then it was; "OMG, I went bowling last night and the guy at the counter was super hot. I can't wait to go bowling again"

And now...I am;
STILL a horrible speller
I'm still somewhat 'over dramatic ' (in my defense, being over dramatic in story telling makes the story 10x more interesting.)
I don't think I seek attention (again, in my defense growing up I was the leader. Or I acted like it. It was you listen to me. I was that bad influence, I was the devil who whispered in your ear. I was the kid the uncles, aunties, cousin's friends, whoever remembered, cause I liked to cause trouble. I was the Dennis the Menace. I liked to tell all the jokes, be the funny one, all eyes on me ), I'm going through this phase where I'm good with that handful of great people I have in my life that no one else really matters.
I don't needa prove something to them or be someone else.
I can be myself, somewhat.
I no longer have a relationship with my father. And I'm okay with that.
I WAS angry. And on some day's, still am
But life is to short to STAY angry. Shit happens, just go with it.

I'm glad though, that I'm able to look back at it all,
Photographs through my words
I was able to stop time for a moment.
I was able to picture those days and the emotions that came with some of them.
I was able to remember things I've forgotten
Feelings I went through
There all here, in this time capsule we call the web
It's nostalgic, it's a breath of fresh air.
It's a recap to see how far I've come.
And I've come a long way.

Cuz The Boyz In De Hood Are Alwayz Hard

I don't think I've ever seen a crowd get as excited to hear a song as the group of people I was with last week.



It was freakin crazy!
When this track played you see the boyz jump up and down with excitement.
Screaming out the lyrics.
It was refreshing in some sense to me.
To see how time's changed right in front of me.

Makes me wonder what track my peoples and I would jump up and down to when we hear a track 20 years down the road.